on grace

"here, my friend, take some of mine.

it's freely given and will cost you everything you have.

but drink, my cup runs over."

(ace troubleshooter should never have broken up. just saying.)

things [that shouldn't be] left unsaid:

"Don’t buy the lie that cultivating condemnation and wallowing in your shame is somehow pleasing to God, or that a constant, low-grade guilt will somehow promote holiness and spiritual maturity. It’s just the opposite! God is glorified when we believe with all our hearts that those who trust in Christ can never be condemned. It’s only when we receive his free gift of grace and live in the good of total forgiveness that we’re able to turn from old, sinful ways of living and walk in grace-motivated obedience."

-C.J. Mahaney

dear february,

you are sucking the life out of me and now have me contemplating going to bed at 8:30 on a friday night. you make everything so drab and dreary; frankly i can't stand you. please go away and don't come back. march will be here soon, no thanks to you.

yours affectionately,

megs.

six-fifty-six.

[656]

I started Early - Took my Dog -

And visited the Sea -

The Mermaids in the Basement

Came out to look at me -

And Frigates - in the Upper Floor

Extended Hempen Hands -

Presuming Me to be a Mouse -

Aground - opon the Sands-

But no Man moved Me - till the Tide

Went past my simple Shoe -

And past my Apron - and my Belt

And past my Boddice - too -

And made as he would eat me up-

As wholly as a Dew

Opon a Dandelion's Sleeve -

And then - I started - too -

And He - He followed - close behind -

I felt His silver Heel

Opon my Ancle - Then My Shoes

Would overflow with Pearl -

Until We met the Solid Town -

No One He seemed to know -

And bowing - with a Mighty look -

At me - The Sea withdrew -

-Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson was such an interesting woman. Frankly, she's just a little wacko, however I love her poetry. Lindsay and Lili know of my high dreams to visit her museum this summer.

PS- Dear gas prices, please do not get so high that you crush and destroy all of my dreams.

PPS-We just sang #340/"I felt a Funeral, in my Brain" to "Amazing Grace." Yes, my classes are that cool.

make war!

"the only possible attitude toward out-of-control desire is a declaration of all out war. i hear so many christians, murmuring about their imperfections and their failures and their addictions and their short-comings, and i see so little war! 'murmur, murmur, murmur... Why am I this way?' MAKE WAR! if you wonder how to make war, go to the Manual! don't just bellyache about your failures, MAKE WAR! there is something about war that sharpens the senses...there is something about war that keeps [you] vigilant...violence against whom or what? not other people. not other people. not other people...not atheists. not nominal christians. but, on every impulse in our soul to be violent to other people...setting in with sin-make war on that! enslaving desires...make war!" -john piper!

it seems like a lot of the time we do exactly this. we sit around and murmur and complain about the sins we are entangled in, about how we cannot seem to have victory over them, and then as soon as the coffee is finished and the conversation ends, we move on and never make war. we are so not called to complacency, rather we are called to fight. philippians 2:12b&13 tells us to "work out [our] salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." yes, everything is by God's good grace, but we cannot expect to show-up sanctified merely by sitting on our behinds and practicing laziness, apathy, hypocrisy, selfishness, complacency, wasting time, perfecting tetris (don't ask me what i have done on and off all night, i'm guilty!), etc. we are called to work out our salvation. to be prepared to do the work Christ has in store for us. we cannot do that if we're lying around in sin and not bothering to do anything about it. we cry out for change, and then cry when it doesn't happen. mystery? not so much. this is more rambling than anything else, but i have really been challenged lately to make war against the things that distract me from Christ, and i wish it would not have taken me twenty-one years to realize how essential this practice is. making war is more than just talking about our struggles (although that does have its time and place), it is going to a solid church, actively seeking out time to spend in worship (corporate or individual), reading the Word every day, and spending time in prayer.

just my two cents worth.

love,

m.

"i can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard."

-background

--lecrae

SNOW DAYYY.

yep, that's correct. my school finally called a snow day. i am ecstatic. ecstatic! good thing because it's 11 p.m. and i still have a lot of homework to do. this means NO 7:50 tomorrow and now i can stay up late and finish everything up and sleep in!!!!!!!! yes! score! ahh! and guess what else? my boss is on vacation this week so i don't work at all which means i get ALL of tomorrow to read, relax, study, and catch up on things i don't normally have time for. oh, and i get to play in the snow!! praise Jesus for silly little things like snow days.

"i'm amazed by a Love that cannot be undone."

on melville

he is the most boring writer in the history of the world. i was going to give moby-dick a chance this summer, but after taking nearly two and a half hours (and counting!) to finish on of his monotonous and excruciatingly painful short stories he has lost his chance. too bad, so sad, melville.

i just

flew on a sheet of ice and wiped out,

slit open the jeans on my left knee,

and flung my phone who knows how many feet down the sidewalk.

lessons learned:

*i am never going to class without coffee again!

*7:40 in the morning is too early to text and walk sans coffee.

on a happier note-

at least it is 36 (heat wave!)

and i now have coffee with coconut creamer in my hands.

time to read the blithedale romance...zzzz

such important ponderings

If I were a month, I’d be April.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday. (I am done with class at 11, woot!)
If I were a time of day, I’d be 8 a.m. A new day ahead of me, with another chance.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a sea horse. Why not?
If I were a direction, I’d be South.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a hammock.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Good Earth Tea.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a Emerald.
If I were a tree, I’d be a weeping willow.
If I were a flower, I’d be a lilac.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be refreshing spring day in April or May.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a piano.
If I were a color, I’d be purple.
If I were an emotion, I’d be joy.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a pomegranate.
If I were an element, I’d be Na (I like salt, what can I say?).
If I were a food, I’d be spinach, straight from the garden.

If I were a place, I’d be Los Altos.
If I were a material, I’d be pretty flowery fabric.
If I were a scent, I’d be lilacs in the heat of summer.
If I were an animal, I'd be a cat, duh.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be thankful.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be grey Toms.

[bored]

life after facebook

it exists! it really does!

after a week-long study i have discovered that not only does it exist, but that friendships become more dear, too. for example: phone calls and texting and get this: ACTUALLY MEETING UP FOR COFFEE. all of these things and more happen once that distraction is taken away. not to say every single person should do away with facebook, for much good can come from it. but, much wasted time can come of it, as well. if you are a college student i would really encourage you to step away from it for a while. just think about what you are doing? is there any profit in wasting forty-five minutes every single day? probably not. it may not be right for you to all together get rid of it, however i think it is safe to say that we all could manage our time better. this is absolutely true in my life. the Lord really laid it on my heart to examine my time and how i spend it, even in the tiny areas we think do not matter. all of a sudden i was prompted to delete my facebook (yes, this is true- i decided to listen to Him the first time around!), and i am left wondering why i did not make this move so much sooner. instead of looking at pictures of my friends i can call them and even see their face! life is good and God is good and He has provided an opportunity to be where i am and and to be (heavily) involved in writing-intensive classes and i owe it to Him and my parents and my professors and myself to make the most of my time. at the end of the day i am in the Word, not stuck on some silly website.

try it out. just saying.

happy monday!

i love you all,

m.

delinquent

i have been looking at the same screen for over two hours now, and still my silly little response is not even half finished.

the best part of it all?

it should only take me twenty minutes, max.

on His glory:

"then i turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning i saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a Son of Man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around His chest. the hairs of His head were white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes were like a flame on fire, His feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and His voice was like the roar of many waters. in His right hand He held seven stars, from His mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and His face was like the sun shining in full strength. when i saw Him, i fell at His feet as though dead. but He laid His right hand on me saying, 'fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.'"

-revelation 1:12-18

what a beautiful God there must be.

currently:

*sipping good earth tea (second time on this bag)

*editing the grammar in my short story that is due tomorrow

*listening to the format

*drinking so much water that it is ridiculous

*making a list of things in my head i would rather be doing

*coming to terms with the fact that i will be up until at least 2 am (especially if i keep this blogging thing up)

*realizing i really do love school and studying more than most other things (forget the complaints listed above)

*oh, and struggling with spelling because i have seen way too many words in the past week

*eagerly anticipating the weekend where i get to meet up with old friends, work, study nonstop, worship and attend a wonderful church (saturday night church is the best idea ever, fyi), and sip more good earth tea because i am what they call obsessed

*who are "they", anyway?

*i just discovered 'anyways' is not a word! it's 'anyway' --why did my teachers never inform me of this?!?! gladiknowthetruthnow.

i love you all.

love,

m.

go hard.

matthew 13:44-46-"the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all he had and bought it."

"if the Cross don't move me than i don't want to breathe no more."

-lecrae

go away, winter.

Spring is the Period
Express from God.
Among the other seasons
Himself abide,


But during March and April
None stir abroad
Without a cordial interview
With God.

-Emily Dickinson