i am clay

i feel a little bit like my heart

is

b
r
o
k
e
n

but if God wants to use me for whatever it is He is planning on i have to be that clay pot, i have to be willing to let him break me down. but not for pain. not in vain. not so that i hurt.

it would be for joy.


for love.


for compassion.


i cannot do any of that on my own. it is easier to be mad.
but it is far better to love unconditionally.

good friend,
one of my best friends,
i love you more than i could ever put into words.
you know that, you do.
so if you love me and i you, than what are we doing??

Lord,

work
in
us

work
in
me

work
in
him

may we love you more in the end.
may i be the sister he needs and not the lover.

grant me patience,
grace,
trust,
love,
understanding.

i feel like we broke up.
i feel like this:

for leah!

*******an updated crouching on my floor glamour shot, ha!

sophie made me LATE for chapel...among other things!

that's sophie and me just hanging out! and then i was late for chapel, oops!

**also-remember this little picture??

rest assured-

your flaws are fine.

Patience.

PSALM 37:7-8

"Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;

Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,

Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

Cease from anger and forsake wrath;

Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing."

God calls some people to adventure. Some to hard times. Some to "great accomplishments." Some to a life of missions in the middle of Africa, and some to be missonaries in their neighborhood. No calling is better than the other and no one, not one, is better than the other. We are all here by God's grace. God has most assuredly called us to a life that honors Him-if one claims to know Him and love Him. Recently I have found that God has called me to a life of patience. Does that mean I have to be patient every moment for the rest of my life?? Ugh, my flesh hopes that is not so. However, I am starting to think that I am always to be patient. How does that work? Be patient for what God is doing, for what He is working on. That whole "In His Time" thing. It involves faith, yes, but also patience. I have faith that God is and forever will take care of me and complete what He is working on (Philippians 1:6). But for now He wants me to be patient and know that He's working things out for the best. I want something, but instead of worrying or not being content I must now focus on areas that I need to grow. For the future and for whomever is in my future. And how do I keep this from being a selfish endeavor? Let's see how this journey goes. It is merely the beginning.

i love summer.

it doesn't take much to make me happy.

just smile at me.
touch me so gently.

and i'll come undone.

that's about it.