we are:

broken. looking for

a cure that is easy and

requires nothing.

ten/thirty.

Day 10 -> Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.

Sad. These questions are getting quite dim and dreary. I would say that a few girlfriends have come and gone, and there are a few girls (mainly one) that I should just let go of and realize that we are not friends anymore. However, I strongly believe God brings all people into my life and far be it for me to claim to know the reason why every individual is here; instead, I will try to invest in the relationships I see as most beneficial from both ends.

i would like to wrap a ribbon around you

(neatly done, of course),

and put you under my tree

as a reminder of how much you mean to me.

whenever things start to get difficult

(whenever i think it's too hard),

i'll simply untie that ribbon

and see your face.

instantly i will remember why i am still here

(because you're always so good to me),

and i'll wrap you back up

and write down again what you mean to me.

daily lecrae

"salvation aint' a feeling, it's a position."

"used to do it too" by lecrae.

seriously lecrae is so good and every time i listen to him (like every single day) i get more and more pumped to follow Christ.

on Aslan:

after a whirlwind of stress, finals, a 23-page long final devotional project, late nights, endless reading, and little rest, i completed my last final of the semester on wednesday afternoon. i went on to celebrate by going straight to job#2 and then job#1 the next day. finally, on thursday night, i was able to see the most recent narnia film, the dawn treader. the symbolism was so apparent and nothing less than beautiful. i could go on and on about how lovely this third installment was, however i will try and keep it brief.

a lion is a perfect Christ-like idea. lions are strong and bold; they can roar loudly and grab the attention and fear of anyone nearby, especially those who know a lion's behavior and character. one would never walk up to a strong lion and assume he has a defense, or try and upset one. he would be fearful, careful to show respect. on the contrary, lions have a sense of majesty and a feeling of complete calmness. they are gentle and beautiful, and the mane around their necks always beckons me to run up and offer a hug.

so then, it is no surprise that the brilliant c.s. lewis chose a lion to represent what Christ would look like if He were in a mythical world. lewis noted that he never planned on adding symbolism or theology to his narnia stories, as they were merely supposed to be light entertainment for children. as he began to write, the themes of Christianity wrote themselves. he noted that because of his Christian beliefs and how deeply they reside in him, he was not able to write these stories without theology becoming a part of it all (source unknown, i read an article by lewis last night and forgot to bookmark it, oops).

now, back to making this brief. i do not want to spoil anything, but this passage shows, in my opinion, the most incredible scene in the movie, and the most moving part of the book.

(confession-i cried in the theatre as the final scene was being depicted).

now, onto c.s. lewis' words, which are much better than mine.

"Oh, Aslan," said Lucy. "Will you tell us how to get into your country from our world?"

"I shall be telling you all the time," said Aslan. "But I will not tell you how long or short the way will be; only that it lies across a river. But do not fear that, for I am the great Bridge Builder. And now come; I will open the door in the sky and send you to your land."

"Please, Aslan," said Lucy. "Before we go, will you tell us when we can come back to Narnia again? Please. And oh, do, do, do make it soon."

"Dearest," said Aslan very gently, "you and your brother will never come back to Narnia."

"Oh, Aslan!!" said Edmund and Lucy both together in despairing voices.

"You are too old, children," said Aslan, "and you must begin to come close to your own world now."

"It isn't Narnia, you know," sobbed Lucy. "It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?"

"But you shall meet me, dear one," said Aslan.

"Are-are you there too, Sir?" said Edmund.

"I am," said Aslan. "But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."

"And is Eustace [the children's cousin] never to come back here either?" said Lucy.

"Child," said Aslan, "do you really need to know that? Come, I am opening the door in the sky."

Then all in one moment there was a rendering of the blue wall (like a curtain being torn) and a terrible white light from beyond the sky, and the feel of Aslan's mane and a Lion's kiss on their foreheads and then-the back bedroom in Aunt Alberta's home in Cambridge.

-from C.S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, chapter sixteen "The Very End of the World"

lucy begs Aslan to see narnia again, and Aslan has to let her know that narnia is not in her future. he exlplains that the only reason he ever brought her through narnia was so that she could know him. here lucy is recollecting and thinking of the journeys and incredible time she has had in narnia (surely she has thought of her accomplishments there), and Aslan informs her that her journey was never even about her; it was all about knowing him.

likewise, this is what Christ does for us. everything in this life is about Him, and everyday is an opportunity to represent Him (although i much to often do not adequately do so). it has never been about me, and it never will be. all throughout our lives God has been pursuing us, even before we knew Him or desired to call Him Lord. every circumstance in life (the good and the bad; the joy and the pain) is a part of God's plan for us to truly know Him. if we know Him we have something incredible. romans 8:16 says that, "the Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God, and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

wow. i told you this was incredible. i guess i cannot keep this brief. after all, the love of God is anything but brief, it is vast; high and low and it never ends.

micah 7:18&19-"who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does no retain His anger forever; because He delights in unchanging love. He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea."

as lecrae says in his song "background":

"just let me shadow You. and just let me trace Your lines. matter of fact, just take my pen. here, You create my rhymes. because if i do this by myself i'm scared that i'll succeed and no longer trust in You, because i only trust in me."

now go see the voyage of the dawn treader.

post script-

i would like a bedroom fort like this, please and thank you.
ashlee is so cute!

nine/thirty.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

i guess we never plan on drifting away from people, especially people we at one point identified as "best friends". i could list a few friends that have drifted away, and i can list another specific person who i have decided to spend less time with because of who they have become. so maybe i have had both, letting someone drift (because they are a changed person) and having someone simply drift away. it may hurt at first, but i fully believe that everyone who is supposed to be in my life right now is; those who are not have drifted away, and probably for the good of both parties involved.

"because i don't think it's right

leaving me here alone this time.

as i lie awake my thoughts repeat;

and i don't think it's right,

but i won't let it kill me tonight.

and i think this time i'll fall asleep."

(the roosevelts seemed fitting).

SNOW.

it is supposed to snow 8-12 inches from tonight into tomorrow. YAY! this is perfect finals weather. what a lovely combination of a winter wonderland outside my window, people i love nearby, a constant cup of tea, and a stack of books and never ending note cards in need of memorization. i am excited to be snowed in for finals weekend. plus, hopefully it'll motivate me!

have a good weekend.

love,

m.

//study break//

"and Jesus stole this hear of mine-

and now i'm alive.

hallelujah,

hallelujah,

hallelujah sing,

for heaven came down."

eight/thirty.

i decided against answering this question.

'twas pointless and not edifying in any way.

however,

happy thursday and two weeks from today i will be back home just getting off of work. between two jobs (both pretty part-time, but still, and finals i don't have a break until like, christmas eve...yikes). pull me through, Lord. i need Your grace and strength. amen.

love,

m.

puritans=legit.

this is prayer from a puritan prayer book entitled, "evangelical hypocrite"

Of all hypocrites, grant that I may not be
an evangelical hypocrite,
who sins more safely because grace abounds,
who tells his lusts that Christ's blood
cleanseth them,
who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell,
for he is saved,
who loves evangelical preaching, churches,
Christians, but lives unholily.

wowza, we probably all fall into that category at some point in our lives. life is hard sometimes.