love love love these people.

new!!

new things!

black ring!

new ring and skinnies!!

merry christmas a few days late, you all.

rejoice.

soooo many good things are coming up.

let me just tell you.

*my 20th birthday, duh. birthdays always top the list.

*working at the bank the first two weeks of break (aka-drinking coffee and chatting),

*followed by samantha's wedding where i FINALLY get to where my dress,

*which after everything has been cleaned up i will then catch a plane to california,

where i will spend sunday-wendesday with my bunna,

*possibly see eric!

*get back home, pack,

shop,

*move in to the dorms!!!!!

*definitely most excited for that last one...new chapter :)

*already 'met' the girls on facebook and they seem like total sweethearts...they better be....

i have been praying for the right roommates since october.

*God is constant, I am not.

*God is good all the time; all the time, God is good.

"...rejoice and be glad,

for the LORD has done great things."

-Joel 2:21

well, i hope you all are getting more things done than i am...

confessions//lessons learned

*i love cheesy made-for-tv christmas movies. i do. justcanthelpit.
*every guy i meet at school i think: "maybe we would work...", and that is because i am terribly impatient.
*one should never attempt to see how far they can get once the gas light comes on.
*i HATE it when people mess up your/you're...i actually get really upset, not good, i know.
*shane&shane's new album is incredible. it will be played day in and day out for some time now.
*i love order, but i feel like my current mindset is chaotic/distressed/irrational. i am basically a contradiction, this i know.
*you can try as hard as you want to ingore the Lord working in your heart and push Him away, but you cannot run. you'll just needlessly complicate your life and possibly end up brokenhearted along the way. i would know.
*the Lord forgives all and loves and and is the definition of goodness; His grace does not, however, give us freedom to run around doing whatever we want [for we bear His name].
*along with hallmark/abc family movies, i love wizards of waverly place. truth.
*i love northwestern. the school has its issues and concerns, but i'm ready for a fight.
*ready for the contradiction? sometimes i can't believe the scholarship/opportunity i passed up at the master's. but i am supposed to be here, working here.
*i WILL be on 'are you smarter than a fifth grader?' because i am and i can win! i can!
*all my pants are falling off. not that that is a confession/lesson learned, but i just thought of it because i had to grab a pair of alyssa's jeans (weird. but it's okay, kim from work promised to fatten me back up over break, ha).
*california stole two of my dear dear friends and i want them back!!!
*God is constant, i am not.
*i judge before i offer grace (but i'm working on it. or moreso, God is working on it, but i'm obstinate).
*that reminds me, i love the word obstinate. makes me think of my bunna :)
*love is not a screwed up, terrible, selfish, torturous, painful endeavor. lust maybe. selfishness maybe. pride maybe. but pure, true love does not stir up those emotions. honest love doesn't make you want to smash the mirror infront of you and throw it out the window. but a self-loving attitude will do that. it will ruin you. so love as Christ did, not how the rest of us do. and may those who claim Christ really start to show it, all of the time, not just when it is easy. because loving people at their worst is much for more difficult and displays much more grace than loving when everything is perfect. my resolution. not new years', because it's too important to continue to put it off. that i know.
*i think we should all just grow up and take responsibility for our actions.
*no one is worth compromising our standards/convictions/theology. i would know that, as well.
*i love every single one of you.

love it.

dear westley james,

hey buddy,

you are only a mere month old, but i love you so much already. i could cry and cry forever when i think about how good God is and how wonderfully He has been working. you are such a blessing, little boy. you are, in some strange way, the best thing that has ever happened to your momma. she is the best ever. we have been great friends for a while, but we're getting closer and closer and i am so thankful for her friendship, love, guidance, laughter, etc. when you get older and can actually read this, know that i have loved you from day one...before you even entered this world. please be loving to your mom, she's a doll and she wants what is best for you, so listen to her!! and i'm an unofficial/practially official auntie and if you start acting up, i can promise you i will be there to kick your cute little butt back into shape. so smile and laugh and keep on dreaming during church...because it makes your mom and i laugh so very hard.

love you so much little boy,

thanks for coming.

i cannot wait to watch you grow up.

love,

megs

favorite.

"Endure Hardness"

A cold wind stirs the blackthorn

To burgeon and to blow.

Besprinkling half-green hedges

With flakes and sprays of snow.

Thro' coldness and thro' keenness,

Dear hearts, take comfort so.

Somewhere or other doubtless

These make the blackthorn blow."

Christina Rossetti

pure procrastination.

favorites as of late:

In Your City-Phil Wickham
*best line-“All our fear and pain will fade away when we see You face-to-face, our great and awesome King.”

Come Undone-Vanessa Carlton
*best line-“I would add up what you mean to me, but I cannot do the math.”

Happier-A Fine Frenzy
*best line-"You won't convince me, that I'll be better off. So, you go on and I'll be happier. You go on, yeah, you go. You'll be gone and I'll be gone."

Hey, Soul Sister-Train (I know, I know, very odd of me, but it is a good song!)
*best line-"You're the only one I'm dreaming of, you see. I can be myself now, finally. In fact, there's nothing I can't be. I want the whole world to see you'll be with me."

None but Jesus-Hillsong United
*best line-“In the chaos, in confusion, I know You’re sovereign still. In the moment of my weakness, You give me grace to do Your will.”

Friends, Lovers or Nothing-John Mayer
*best line-“Friends, lovers or nothing, there can only ever be one. Friends, lovers or nothing, there will never be an in between so give it up.”

The Beginning-Showbread, featuring Reese & Amy Roper
*best line-all of it.

Beyond Measure-Jeremy Camp
*best line-“I come alive when I’ve broken down and given You control.”

I don’t regret-Barlowgirl
*best line-“why do we think if we trust God too much He will fail us?” Good question Barlowgirl, good question.

Leaf-mewithoutYou
*best line-“Oh, to want one thing! It's the purity of heart! You'll remind me that I said you were a quiet bed in all my noise to rest. Well I was charming you at best."

Desert Song-Hillsong
*best line-“there is a faith proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord, through the flame. And I will bring praise, I will praise; no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare- God is my victory and He is here.”

On Your Porch-The Format
*best line- “What’s left to lose? I’ve done enough. And if I fail, well than I fail, but at least I gave it a shot.”

Not So Tough Found Out-Copeland
*best line-“Not so tough found out, found out. Feel so warm sun fire, sun fire. Not so strong, lost out, lost out.”

Pink Champagne-Lovedrug
*best line-“And if you're wanting the truth, honey. I'm falling harder and harder for you. For you."

Cielo-Phil Wickham
*best line-“Saints and angels stand in awe, captured by the beauty of it all. So, I fall to my knees. But, I can’t bow low enough. I can’t bow low enough at the vision of You, my God.”

The Calculation-Regina Spektor
*best line-“It counted up our feelings and divided them up even. And it called that calculation perfect love. Didn’t even know that love was bigger. Didn’t even know that love was so so hey, hey, hey. Hey, this fire it's burnin'. Burnin' us up.”

There are many, many more, but alas, I must get back to important things such as reading and studying for finals, et cetera.

happier

"you'd like to convince me that i'll be better off,

so you go on and i'll be happier, i'll be happier.

i'll be happier.

you go on, yeah, you go on,

you'll be gone and i'll be happier."

i like this:

i like it a lot. i always got annoyed by her song "almost lover", but then i realized that is really her worst song, and every other song is wonderful.

my current lifeblood=

the wonderful skinny cinnamon dolce latte. because if you know me at all you know i love cinnamon and adore, yes adore, coffee. this is my new drink. i used to drink if all of the time when i worked at starbucks but forgot about it! eek! mainly because once the discount went away i got cheap and just bought boring old black coffee...but it's christmastime so it's okay, i can go to starbucks like three of four days a week, right? well i must, it's my lifeblood/reason to keep working at my papers/study guides/school work for the next two and a half weeks. this is love!

oh and look at the little cutie i got to hang out with last night!! i love little westley james! such a cute sweet boy. and i love his momma sooo very much. i am so proud of that girl. he was making faces and just simply being adorable the whole time, but everytime i got out the camera he put on his sleepy face, what a stinker!!!

hope you are all well!

love,

megs