three papers & one article//two days.

can i go crawl in a hole and cry now? oh wait, time to get ready for work.

(twelve days until freedom.)

motivation? hello?

nilla wafers//bellarive//coffee//fireplace//rain//two hours to finish this paper

//philippians 4:13//

our lives are but a speck in time.

"vanity of vanities, says the Preacher. vanity of vanities! all is vanity. what does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? a generation goes, a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. the sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. the wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on it's circuits the wind returns. all streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again.

all things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

what has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. is there a thing of which it is said, "see, this is new"? it has been already in the ages before us. there is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after."

-ecclesiastes 1:2-11

upon learning (and struggling through) so many things as of late, i have come to the realization that there are very few things in this life that should captivate us. as children of God, the living true God, we should be enamored with Him and finding all of our satisfaction in Him. the enemy has brilliantly put on display good things in front of us, and these things take our attention away from the Lord. is saving up for a new computer/dress/movie/outfit/etc a bad thing? absolutely not. however, the more and more i find myself yearning for more of Him, the more and more i realize how completely in love with myself and the (stupid) things i have surrounded myself with. fortunately, our God is a God who loves, pursues, and chases after His children. selfishly (really sinfully) i want me! but God wants me to make war on sin and run after Him. the things of the Lord should be the only things to hold my captivation. maybe this little blog has one reader, maybe none, but that really is okay. the name change is really between the Lord and i, but i wanted to express a little bit of my heart.

and lastly:

2 corinthians 10:5&6-

"we destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete."

this world has become strangely dim.

You and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness.

-c.s. lewis

we were meant for more (so much more)

i'm discontent chasing the wind

i want to feel more than air on my skin

like the tide, feelings come and go

here today, gone tomorrow

i want love, i want You

so take this beaten heart

and let it beat for You

i'm scared, yeah i'm scared

only You know now i feel

when i say i don't want to feel anything but love

true Love, true Love

watch me bloom cause soon i'll wither

but Your love lasts forever

like the sun, life is beautiful

when i rise and when i fall

[chasing the wind-

(the ember days.)]

i just realized that-

what i've been up to, picture style.

barista again.

free soy lattes of sorts are back in my life.

new flowery sheer pretty shirt from forever 21 via a gift card from a lovely friend.

(only 11.8, that's right!)

oh, and my hair is still getting longer.

and browner.

yes, i believe i just made that word up.

now off to loads and loads of school work. i could get stressed about my eighteen credits/three jobs/lack of sleep/brokenness (spiritually and especially financially), but i have found that paul was right in saying that it is far better to rest in Christ and to be content.

"rejoice in the Lord always."