but honey, we have to start somewhere.

i think that i am growing up.
or something.

it is weird.

but i like it.

this year has been so hard. i so many ways. but i keep growing, more than i did the year before. which is awesome. and in every circumstance God has been there. in every high and every low. and He has used everything. what's that song we always sang in chapel? something like: "and when i am tried and purified, we shall come forth as gold." i love that. that is awesome. and i make mistakes. i sin. i screw up. i think things that i should not...and i do all of this on a daily basis. but God's mercies are new every morning! they are! and i'm sorry if i don' always live how i should. i'm sorry if i've ever said one thing and done another. please, forgive me.

and the exciting thing about growing up and becoming more confident in Christ, is that my desire for what this world offers is less and less. and not everyone i work with, am friends with, come into contact with, am related to and so on...not everyone has come to know Christ. and i have to be a light. i have to. if i lose friendships, relationships and whatnot, it is still worth it. God is enough for me. i know that. i am sure of it.

i like christina rossetti.
a lot.

"then whose shall those things be?"

oh, what is earth that we should build,
our houses here, and seek concealed
poor treasure, and add field to feld,
and heap to heap, and strore to store,
still grasping more and seeking more,
while step by step Death nears the door?

"the lowest place"

give me the lowest place: not that i dare
ask for that lowest place, but Thou hast died
that i might live and share
Thy glory by Thy side.

give me the lowest place: or if for me
that lowest place too high, make one more low
where i may sit and see
my God and love Thee so.

"consider"

consider
the lilies of the field whose bloom is brief:-
we are as they;
like them we fade away,
as doth a leaf.

consider
the sparrows of the air of small account:
our God doth view
whether they fall or mount,-
He guards us too.

consider
the lilies that do neither spin nor toil,
yet are most fair:-
what profits all this care
and all this coil?

consider
the birds that have no barn nor harvest-weeks;
God gives them food:-
much more our Father seeks
to do us good.



Romans 8:28