Monday, February 15, 2010

stationary.

so here i sit,
with so much to do.
so much to read,
write,
contemplate,
edit,
finish up.

and i
can
not
get moving.

why?
well, really because i am
l
a
z
y.

that about sums it up.

i feel stuck, like everyone around me is moving on and up;
like everyone is falling in and out of love.
and then there's me.
and i'm here.

waiting.

crying out contentment!
crying out that i like it right here,
where i am.

and like where i am at, i do.
i love northwestern.
i love the people.
i love my classes.
i love my roommates.
i love my hall.
i love it all.

so why am i sitting here,
wishing i were somewhere else?
i am thinking this neverEVERending season of snow has something to do with it.

thankfully,
even when i am faithless,
Christ is faithful.
and when i sin,
grace abounds so much more.

so really i have nothing to complain about.
i am able to be in school,
i have the ability to read,
write,
think,
compose,
et cetera.

and i have chocolate milk, so what else do i really need?

Lord, You are more precious than silver,
more costly than gold,
and more beautiful than diamonds.
So may I treasure You first,
and place You above all else.
Because,
in the end
You are what matters.
You are the hope
that I look forward to.

2 comments:

  1. are you seriously the only other one who understands me in this way?

    this is ridiculous. i feel like i'm reading my own words.

    isn't it crazy how we can feel so blessed, recognize our blessing is from the Lord, want to know him and love him so much more, want to serve him and do things and love others, but then waste hours on the internet for no reason and remain in complacency, selfishness, and apathy?

    i hate it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i really struggle with this, all of the time. and yes, I HATE IT. i hate how much i think about myself. i love me so much, it's disgusting sometimes. but i've really learned this year how deep God's love is and how willing He is to simply grab my hand and pick me up where i've fallen (usually the same exact spot...you'd think i'd learn).

    i would absolutely love to sit and talk with you someday. and that day will happen. i'm looking forward to it.

    you encourage me.

    romans 7:14-15
    "for we know that the Law is spiritual, but i am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. for what i am doing, i do not understand; for i am not practicing what i would like to do, but i am doing the very thing i hate."

    but He gives much grace.

    ReplyDelete